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Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com
Have you ever wished your partner came with an instruction booklet? This international bestseller is the answer to all the things you've ever wondered about the opposite sex.
For their controversial new book on the differences between the way men and women think and communicate, Barbara and Allan Pease spent three years traveling around the world, collecting the dramatic findings of new research on the brain, investigating evolutionary biology, analyzing psychologists, studying social changes, and annoying the locals.
The result is a sometimes shocking, always illuminating, and frequently hilarious look at where the battle line is drawn between the sexes, why it was drawn, and how to cross it. Read this book and understand--at last!--why men never listen, why women can't read maps, and why learning each other's secrets means you'll never have to say sorry again.
No research, not funny, just awful
| Customer Rating:   | I listened to the audiobook, so perhaps in the real text there are references to research, but I doubt it. My first hint that I was in trouble was that the first 20 minutes of CD 1 (out of 3) was the authors telling how funny and informative this book was. So instead of telling information and being witty, they instead say that this book will be those things. If a stand up comedian says 'hey, that was funny' but nobody is laughing - it wasn't. This book does squeeze in old tired cliche jokes like the man and his remote. Oh wow, funny and topical! So, they aim to cover 40 frequently asked questions. #1, nagging. Comes from a swedish word for 'gnaw'. An ok factoid. Then a bunch of general comments from the authors - that they made up over tea, no facts, no insights. I will totally give my hypothesis here. "Perhaps given evolution, women as caretakers had to give advice to those young children they cared for - and an adult's advice is good for a child. But perhaps the woman cannot turn that trait off and will give advice to men even when she has not facts or basis." I have not done reserach, so may be way off base, but at least I'm not trying to sell a book. A further clue that this book is not scientific (although they repeatedly claim to be), is common language like "brain scans" show that women can multi-thread - carry on 5 things, while men can carry on 2 things, and high level executive men sometimes cannot walk and chew gum at the same time. Well, that last part was to endear the wives buying this junk, since they will smile at the put down of a) men, and b) high achievers. Show me a study using functional MRI's where given the same auditory input, men and women over a large sample size have statistically significant difference in brain activity for the same stimulus. Nope, not here, the husband and wife team just made up "brain scan" to make their "fact" sound scientific. The Owners Manual for the Brain (Pierce J. Howard) is actually a good book about brains and differences between men and women in that area. Instead of facts, this book feels like the authors did Google searches for trivia and posted that. Half the supposed content is quotes and trivia (Hong Kong man gets reduced sentence for killing his wife since she nagged him). Really no substance here, and when the introduction tells how to give this book as a gift, you know you are in big trouble. Also, this book reads like it was designed by and for women. Clearly, Barbara wears the pants in their relationship. Carl Zimmer's "Evolution: The Triumph of an Idea" lends some insights into why we are why we are (e.g. a younger woman would see an older man as stable and able to provide for her and children, while a man sees a young woman as genetically fit to bear children and thus his genes can live on in offspring - thus old men with young wives are not just "cradle grabbers" - as the Pease book states). So, do not waste your time on this. It is as scientific and insightful as your daily newspaper horoscope. Women like shopping, men like TV - ha ha ha? no, not funny authors, nor informative.
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Very Interesting Difference between Men and Women!
| Customer Rating: | I was particularly interested in the difference on how to read maps between men and women. I hadn't recognized that before, though. Certainly, it is strange to turning the map around so often. It seems quite logical to most women to turn the map according to the direction where they are going, while men think it's ridiculous. In this case, men have better spacial skills than women, I guess. On the other hand, Allan and Barbara Pease also seemed to say that men get more distracted than women. What does it mean? According to this book, men generally hate being talked to while driving. I just wondered why men have this sort of downside in spite of their great spacial skills. At first, I thought this applied to new and/or poor drivers because they tend to be too nervous to talk while driving. However, I gradually found out that it is a matter of how to arrive faster at where they are headed for. Overall, it may be hard to judge either spacial skills outweigh concentration or vice versa.
So I wish both men and women could use well-balanced spacial skills and concentration. Therefore, they wouldn't have to waste their energies on arguments in cars. |
Sham and Scam
| Customer Rating: | This book is similar to all of those infamous pyramid schemes--the authors make money off of other people's hard work, data gathering, and scientific studies. This would be bad enough if were not for the fact that the authors are also intellectually dishonest. The conclusions of the studies they cite do not support the premises of the authors. The Peases warp these studies' findings to fit their purpose and also ignore any facts that contradict their work.
For example, they discuss many studies on homosexuality, which they state all show that "people are born gay," when, in actuality, those studies' researchers stated that while some people have an innate disposition toward feminine behavior or attraction to their same sex, environment and an individual's development are as great, or even greater, factors in determining whether someone chooses a gay lifestyle. Just as someone may be genetically prone to depression or anger, so are some people toward homosexuality. The authors of this book also state that no therapies have ever succeeded in turning someone to a heterosexual lifestyle, when again, in fact, such therapies have a higher success rate than any current drug addiction therapy.
This is just one area where the Peases seemingly willfully ignore current scientific studies and evidence in order to sell their books, DVDs, seminars, video and audio programs. However, please do not just take my word for it and review the current available information.
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Great book for both men and women
| Customer Rating: | | This book is an excellent summary of a lot of the data gathered on relationships over the last 40 years. The book helps in a general sense of awareness and has great therapy value for someone leaving a relationship, especially if it is long term. Highly recommended for a third dimension book in conjunction with a multi-dimensional book (religion) for mental healing. |
Very enlighting
| Customer Rating: | This book is packed with many insightful and interesting items of information on the differences between women and men. I am 51 yrs old and have been an avid amature observer of human behaviour and during my reading of this book the things the authors were saying had a strong ring of truth to them as I compared what they said with my own experiences and observations of my friends and family's behaviours.
The tests in the book serve to back up the author's points of spatial abilities in men and women. I understand that generalization of the human race only goes as far as the statistics that back them up and there will always be men and women that fall outside of what the authors say but they talk to the majority of men and women. Most people will condemn this book because it is not politically correct but it is factually correct if you take your social shades off.
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