Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com
Summary:
According to most relationship books, the key to a solid marriage is communication, communication, communication. Phooey, says John Gottman, Ph.D., author of the much-lauded Why Marriages Succeed or Fail. There's much more to a solid, "emotionally intelligent" marriage than sharing every feeling and thought, he points out--though most couples therapists ineffectively (and expensively) harp on these concepts.
Gottman, the director of the Gottman Institute, has found through studying hundreds of couples in his "love lab" that it only takes five minutes for him to predict--with 91 percent accuracy--which couples will eventually divorce. He shares the four not-so-obvious signs of a troubled relationship that he looks for, using sometimes amusing passages from his sessions with married couples. (One standout is Rory, the pediatrician who didn't know the name of the family dog because he spent so much time at work.)
Gottman debunks many myths about divorce (primary among them that affairs are at the root of most splits). He also reveals surprising facts about couples who stay together. They do engage in screaming matches. And they certainly don't resolve every problem. "Take Allan and Betty," he writes. "When Allan gets annoyed at Betty, he turns on ESPN. When Betty is upset with him, she heads for the mall. Then they regroup and go on as if nothing's happened. Never in forty-five years of marriage have they sat down to have a 'dialogue' about their relationship." While this may sound like a couple in trouble, Gottman found that they pass the love-lab tests and say honestly that "they are both very satisfied with their relationship and they love each other deeply."
Through a series of in-depth quizzes, checklists, and exercises, similar to the ones he uses in his workshops, Gottman provides the framework for coping with differences and strengthening your marriage. His profiles of troubled couples rescued from the brink of divorce (including that of Rory, the out-of-touch doctor) and those of still-happy couples who reinvigorate their relationships are equally enlightening. --Erica Jorgensen
Customer Reviews:
Average Customer Rating:
Best Marriage Strengthener
Customer Rating:
Great reviews already tout the virtues and power of this book. It made my already good marriage so much better.
This is no silly, self-help guru-written piece of garbage. It's backed up with facts and scientific evidence that support a clear set of principles that can be used to make any marriage better than it is already.
My wife and I got the most of this by reading this together, taking turns reading a page apiece, and identifying what we did that chipped away at the fulfillment and joy we had together. Although reading the book cover to cover is the best way to get everything this book has to offer, its fun to simply open the book at any place and dive into a principal or set of examples - perfect for a short read.
It's a fabulous book that should be read periodically to refresh yourself on any bad habits that have crept back into your life. And it's a great gift I've given many times over to repeated accolades.
Get it. Read it. Get Happier.
Good resource for any couple
Customer Rating:
I am a therapist and was seeking books to offer to clients dealing with marital issues and bought this work to review myself. I found it easy to read with sound research based advice. I will recommend this book to future clients.
The Go-To Mom Highly Praises Gottman's Work
Customer Rating:
What a great marriage refresher. I enjoy going to dinner with my husband and taking the quizzes. Gottman's seven principles are a true wake-up call to stop taking your marriage for granted. This is a great book for couples who are dating and considering marriage.
It's an excellent book that helps relationships to leanr more about each other, manage their differences and accept each other, have fun together and have the tools to manage challenges when married! It's great even better before marriage!
Amazing book...A great buy for anyone.
Customer Rating:
"Seven Principles" really helped me and my husband Joe get through a very rough time in our marraige last year. Joe and I had gone through our ups and downs before, but we hit a really rough spot. We went to our friends, and they all told us different things. None of them gave the same ideas (principles, haha) as this book did. I had heard of Nan Silver before, having read her book "Rules for Parents." It was definitely THE best parenting book I have ever read. Anyway, back to the point, Joe and I weren't able to quite grasp our friends' advice to help us get through our rough patch, but Nan Silver's excellent writing skills really helped us through this more than any of what this book actually said. P.S. No, seriously, buy this book i wanna go to college.
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