 | Price Comparisons: Rental | | Sorry, the textbook you were looking for is not available as Rental, at any of the stores we searched. | Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com | In 2005 porn reached epidemic proportions and affected almost everyone. This book is about Craig Gross, a young pastor helping those inside the world of porn, and the stories, insights, and secrets he's learning on his journey. |
Average Customer Rating:    A tough read Ok this book was not an easy read. It was stories of pornstars and their life outside of what you see on TV. If you have never heard of Craig Gross you might want to go to the XXXchurch website so you can get a feal of what he is all about. I hope he continues to write. it wasn't what I hoped, but it was interesting this was an interesting book, but it really only scratched the surface of the issue of porn. It's a quick, light read. Open-minded, Mature and In Your Face: A Real Page-Turner This is a book that doesn't judge or criticize you for looking at porn. Many of us have done it when we were young: Found Dad's porn collection somewhere; Watched (or even been caught) watching porn on the internet. This book gives you respect. Respect in opening up the industry in a no-holds-barred, completely real with real-life experiences kind of way. It shows its not a fairy-tale lifestyle (not that we thought it was), but its enough to think: Do I want to get my pleasure from other people's pain? Examples on how porn has screwed up people's lives (the actors, as well as the viewers at home) makes you think twice.
Your questions will be answered. Revolutionary! The information in this book changed my life! This is far more than a "how to" guide for resisting the poison that is porn. The telling of the real life interactions and infiltration of the porn industry with the love of Christ by Craig Gross and company will change your heart and forever alter the way you view this problem. Hope for the hurting, or more of the same old thing? I first heard about the XXXChurch website a couple of years ago. It looked like an edgy idea by a young Christian man called to stand against porn in the Church. I applauded his courage for confronting the issue head-on, and liked that he leavened his stand with some humor. "Dirty Little Secret" is from Craig Gross, the founder of this organization. As the title suggests, porn is something the Church sweeps under the narthex rug. Since I wage my own battle against self-medication, I was interested in what he had to say.
"Dirty Little Secret" isn't bad. The author is passionately against porn, but not in a judgmental or holier-than-thou way. He and his cohorts set up booths at porn conventions to provide a way out for those who produce and act in adult movies. They also seek to help church leaders deal with their usage, since it has become almost epidemic in the pastoral community. That kind of "grace with teeth" is better than the legalistic and shame-based approach of most churches (when they aren't in denial, that is).
However, despite the author's good intentions, books like this one have a fatal flaw. They are big on showcasing porn's worst-case consequences, but short on providing solid ways of prevention and adequate solutions for addicts (or even dabblers). Like in war, no one gets into porn with the goal of becoming a casualty. Casual indulgers become blase after years of not even coming close to experiencing the hell of a raging porn addict. The more insidious consequences of dabbling, such as subtle effects on dating or marriage relations, should've merited more exploration. It seems that because porn is so easy to get (especially with the advent of the Internet), prevention has been abandoned in favor of focusing on treatment. The author discusses intensive isolation therapy, counseling, and accountability via friends and/or software. But like Mr. Gross, I've seen this stuff fail over and over again. At least he's honest about the shortcomings of these methods.
Is there hope for those trapped in porn? My adventures in sanctification have included counseling, doing ministry, healing services, memorizing Scripture, accountability, small groups, reading tons of books, and even dating/courting. The result? I'm not mired in addiction, and I have grown as a Christian (at least I hope so). However, the ugly truth about focusing on methods is that once you're done with them (or they are done with you), you're still you. If your Achilles heel(s) remain the same, then it's easy to become discouraged and tempted to retreat into familiar ways of medicating. What's worse, the Church will often let you go on your merry way. My experience with church leadership is that as a man, you are an asset as long as you have it "together." But once you're struggles are revealed and you are working through brokenness, you're a liability. Usually you get segregated from the "healthy" Christians and thrown into a recovery group, where the blind lead the blind and true healing is an ever-elusive goal. Some tout marriage as both a preventative and a solution. But Christian women get so freaked out about any hint of porn usage in one's past (never mind the present) that they aren't much help. However, I digress.
I'm reminded of the story Jesus told about casting out a demon. The demon wanders through dry places, and decides to return to the person it was ejected from. The creature finds its old home swept and in order. But nothing of substance is there to hinder its return, and it moves back in with seven other demons more vile than itself. In the end, the person is worse off than before. Yes, "Dirty Little Secret" shows that the "demon" of porn is bad. But there's not much about shaping one's character to avoid it, or how to fill the demon's old home in a more sanctified manner.
Ultimately, navel-gazing and bullet-point methods haven't worked for me or anyone else that I know of. Indeed, focusing on the sin and white-knuckling it may provide short-term "victory." But in the end this approach is an exercise in failure. Strugglers may need to simply hit bottom like the Prodigal Son, and then get picked up and put back together by a supportive community - if one can be found. For the long-term, perhaps an intense interpersonal ministry that gets our juices flowing in the direction of God and others (versus ourselves and our pet sin) is a solution. I hope that the search for healing is itself half of the battle, and that a merciful God will gird up his garment and run to meet us with love and succor. But so far I'm discouraged with how the Church deals with its more obviously wounded members.
At any rate, I salute "Dirty Little Secret" for spotlighting the problem of porn in the Church. I'm also impressed with the XXXChurch's ministry to those folks in the adult film industry. But I'm skeptical about the solutions it puts forth for the user of porn, whether casually or addictively. We've become immune to way-out cautionary tales and frustrated with tired old methodologies that make us "acceptable" but don't provide true change. A deeper way in Christ is needed, and I pray that the author perseveres toward that end in his ministry. So for now, I can only give a guarded, but hopeful, recommendation for "Dirty Little Secret." |  |
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