The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement,   ISBN:9781416575986

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While reading this book, I was reminded of the old saying that if your only tool is a hammer then every problem tends to look like a nail. As the writers are narcissism researchers, everything they see tends to be narcissism.

Let me say at the outset that I enjoyed the book and it clearly outlines the symptoms of a number of major social problems we have in America.....yes, we have a high degree of self-centered behavior, too much focus on celebrities and trouble with delayed gratification that has led to credit problems and the like.....it is for this reason that I gave the book 3 stars.

BUT---and I think everyone who reads this book needs to keep this in the back of their minds, most of the social issues outlined here do not necessarily make the leap to "narcissism". Yes, Facebook and blogging and easy credit so forth enable narcissistic behavior, but the rise of these and other factors cited in the book do not point to a "narcissism epidemic".

As I read the book, I kept agreeing with parts and then in the next moment go "wait a minute, you're making a great leap here....where's the proof?" I kept going back to their description of narcissism at the beginning of chapter 2 where they said "This is the main difference between a narcissist and someone merely high in self-esteem: the high self-esteem person who's not narcissistic values relationships, but the narcissist does not." Then I would read a sentence where they described something as narcissistic behavior and ask myself "does it meet their own definition?" Many many times it did not. Do you value relationships? Most of us do. Celebrity worship, rudeness, our spending and credit explosion and other factors cited here are social problems no doubt. Do all the people who exhibit these behaviors not value relationships and meet the definition of narcissistic? No, of course not. Note that even my posting this review of their book can be seen as evidence of my narcisstic behavior and my relationships are great. Bottom line is that excessive self centered behavior is a problem in the US, but I cannot make the leap in faith the authors do that it is narcissism without some scientific data not presented here.

Which leads to how we measure narcissism.....the authors give a mini-version of the forced choice test (must choose between 2 statements) to give a sense of how social scientists have been gathering data. Some of the sentences I kept saying to myself "well, it depends upon what you mean by that word". I know we have all experienced that in taking such tests.

One example was most telling---When given a choice between "I am no better or no worse than most people" and "I think I am a special person." I wondered what they meant by "special". Later, when I got to their whole diatribe on calling children "special" vs. "unique" , I wondered why this was such a big deal to them. Then it dawned on me....such tests depend upon limiting the meanings of the words. Their data on narcissism depends upon them using one definition of "special" which they give from the dictionary as "surpassing what is common or usual; exceptional". They then point out that logically it is impossible for everyone to be "special". Uh, excuse me? Is that how we all define the word always in the real world? A quick dictionary check also finds that it can also mean "held in particular esteem" and "designed for a particular occurrence or occasion". If we expand the meaning of special (which we all do when saying that we or others are "special"), then that unfortunately pokes holes at the validity of the data on narcissism. So, if I tell my children or grandchildren or myself that the fact of our existence is a gift, that we came here for this lifetime with a purpose that is ours to fulfill....that we should value ourselves because of that.....well, we may say that the fact that we are here is "special" but they want us to use "unique" because "special" will lead to narcissism....I had to say "where's your data to back up that statement?"

Same thing came up on the whole issue of "loving yourself" which they also have a big issue with. I teach self-development classes where we discuss "self-love". My experience with people who have issues with intimacy issues is that they frequently have an underpinnings of lack of self-love (or self-esteem or self-caring, all commonly used synonymously). Teaching people to love themselves in the context that they are valuable helps them to make connections with other people. I always stress that we are not talking about a narcissistic self-love but cultivating a sense of self-worth. The authors object that teaching self-love leads to narcissism. I would argue the opposite. Teaching a healthily self-love can be a cure for the narcissism they define again back in chapter 2. I was left wondering if the whole "big deal" on use of the term "self-love" (that it depends upon how you define the term) was tied back to the forced test data issue and that an expansion of the meaning of the term to how it is commonly used would again underline the "narcissism data".

One final note---in their description of the rise of "narcissism" they point to Maslow's hierarchy of needs where the top rungs are self-esteem followed by self-actualization and say that self-actualization was too difficult hence people stopped at self-esteem and focused excessively on meeting that level. This is one of those leaps in logic that was unfortunately all too common in the book. Their proof? You don't hear much about self-actualization but there are lots of internet sites and magazine articles on self-esteem. As a reminder, Maslow's study of high functioning individuals outlined the types of needs that motivated them once they met "lower" needs. If one met the needs related to "love and belongingness", then they would move on to being motivated by "self-esteem" needs. Meeting self-esteem needs would free us to work on self-actualization. Later Maslow identified an even higher "being needs" level of "self-transcendence" that the highest functioning people worked towards. The fact that we discuss more in the media the issue of self-esteem over self-actualization only tends to show that we have not fully met it. Once we do, then Maslow says there will be a natural tendency to move upward and then we will see an increased emphasis on self-actualization and then later self-transcendence. Hence, a focus on self-esteem means we haven't met that level not that we decided to stay there because it was "easier".

Bottom line---the book does detail well the symptoms of some current social problems facing America. They try to link them to being a "narcissistic epidemic". Its an interesting hypothesis that is not really proven by their book. 3 stars for highlighting these social issues. The question for me becomes does trying to link these social problems under one label help us in dealing with them or hinder us? I, for one, am not convinced it serves us to call all of these symptoms "narcissism".

Customer Rating: 

Buy it. I read the whole thing - cover to cover. This book is well-written, very funny at times but has lots of explicit language (generally b/c they're quoting potty-mouths). Great for parents.

The authors use raw statistics, personal stories, case studies, etc. to point to the change in the American culture over the past several decades.

The book can be a bit repetitive (they want to make sure you accept their premise - examples and data are extensive) and I feel the "how to reverse the trend" could have better treatment, but perhaps simply identifying narcissim is enough. I know the book has had a positive impact on me.

Customer Rating: 

The collaborative effort by the authors produced a good read. Recommended reading for all: young marrieds, college students, etc.
Well written and relevant commentary on today's culture and society.

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"The Narcissism Epidemic" takes almost four hundred pages to state one thing: Americans today are self-centered. The authors provide plenty of solid research to back this up. Psychologists recognize Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as a genuine mental illness, and studies show that 20% of Americans have it, with the highest concentration being among the young. The Narcissistic Personality Inventory tracks rising selfishness among an even broader section of the population. But if that's not enough, they also cite numerous polls of attitudes on various topics. My favorite statistic: one third of college students think they deserve a good grade for showing up in class, even if they can't pass the tests.

This is not to imply that the book is only a barrage of facts and figures. The authors devote chapters to the rising tide of narcissism in various parts of our culture. One chapter one celebrity misbehavior is a true example of shooting fish in a barrel. Does anybody really need to hear the latest misdeeds of Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton to be convinced that they have problems? Other chapters cover child-rearing, online social networking, plastic surgery (up by 200% in the past ten years), and general incivility. One of the best chapters covers narcissism in relation to financial markets. As the authors point out, there was a time when people believed that financial responsibility was a duty and a virtue. Living within your means was something you were supposed to do, a part of basic morality. Now people act as if whenever can get a jumbo ARM loan for no money down, it's fine to do so. The results of this foolishness have been playing out in the markets for the past year.

Yet for all the good stuff, the book is disappointing in some ways. The writing is often dull and repetitious. The authors try to spice things up by describing every factoid as "shocking", "startling", "amazing", "eye-popping", and so forth. Of course the opposite is true. The things noted in the book are obvious to any observant person. It's nice to have the facts confirmed by formal research, but the tone of the book is slightly condescending in the way it assumes that the reader will be totally unfamiliar with the material.

The other problem, as several reviewers have noted, is that the book is broad but not deep. It mentions the problem of narcissism in a huge number of examples but does not plunge into the root causes of the phenomenon. In historical terms, the authors only go back as far as the 60's and 70's, when "self-esteem" first became a household word. The idea that we can achieve good academic performance by telling students to feel good about bad performance may seem like a bad joke, but the rise of narcissism is really the end result of trends that started generations earlier. Twenge and Campbell could have put their argument in a more firm historical context if they discussed how 19th century philosophers put the self and the center of the social system while moving duties and responsibilities to the periphery. They might have looked at writers like Shaw who relentlessly attacked traditional morality. They might have done any number of things, but the opportunity is lost.

With that said, the question is less "Where did it come from?" than "Where will it lead to?" Here the authors are cheerful and upbeat, assuring us that with a some minor changes to education and the media, we can put our society back on the right track. That, however, might strike some as overly optimistic. Before we can rebuild our schools and other institutions on principles of human cooperation, we need a shift in morality among millions of people, and right now there's little sign of such a thing happening.

"The Narcissism Epidemic" is a good book despite its flaws, and one you might consider giving to anyone who's wondering about the fate of American society. One book can't have that much of an impact, but it's encouraging that several titles have recently appeared to address this topic. Talk to the Hand and The Dumbest Generation are ones you might try if you're interested in the topic.

Customer Rating: 

This book was a good read. Most of the information in the book is generally accepted public knowledge, "Kids are so spoiled and demanding these days," but the thing I liked was that the author broke this statement down- gave examples, and a history of why it got to be this way. I'm a member of Gen Y, notorious for our self-centeredness and demand for instant gratification. This book outlined the slide into this "me,me,me!" culture. In fact, writing this review- assuming that YOU want to know what I have think and have to say- could be construed as narcissism. :) No, that's not quite it, but there are lots of great examples in the book.
The book was an eye-opener, and actually freaked me out a little bit. I'm definitely going to be a bit more mindful in certain situations, and I have a new perspective on this Facebook/Twitter culture.