 | Price Comparisons: Rental | | Sorry, the textbook you were looking for is not available as Rental, at any of the stores we searched. | Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com | In his groundbreaking bestseller, Real Boys: Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood, Dr. William Pollack delved into the issues that today's boys face, from violence to the limiting notion that boys don't cry. In his follow-up book, Real Boys' Voices, Pollack, a clinical psychologist and assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, lets readers get close to his source--the boys themselves, ages 10 to 20, from all around the country. The voices he presents are searingly authentic and eager to be heard. Pollack's basic premise is simple: Despite what society might tell us, boys want to talk. Furthermore, they have a lot to say on a wide variety of topics, including gender issues, friendship, sex, fear of violence, and relationships with their mothers and fathers. The first and longest section of the book, "The Secret Emotional Lives of Boys," is the most powerful. Boys talk about homophobia--their secret terror that they might be called gay--and of the double life many say they lead: strong and brave on the outside, yet full of worries and angst on the inside. With violence all around them, many boys fear becoming violent themselves. They also describe the intense pressure they feel to lose their virginity and the conflicting feelings they have about sex. "Your virginity is what determines whether you're a man or a boy in the eyes of every teenage male," muses one thoughtful boy, who adds, "It is almost inconceivable to think that your virginity, your one and only innocence, could be your worst enemy." Throughout his book, Pollack offers helpful and concrete suggestions for parents to help their boys lead better lives, including tips on how to deal with bullying behavior and how to recognize signs of depression. While this advice is useful, the true power of this book lies in those very real voices. This is a must-read for parents and for anyone who wants insight into the minds of today's boys. --Virginia Smyth |
Average Customer Rating:   Express your love as openly as you might with a girl Dr. William Pollack(2000) offers tips for listening:
* Honor a boy's need for "timed silence," to choose when to talk.
* Find a safe place, a "shame-free zone."
* Connect through activity or play. Many boys express their deepest experience
through "action talk." Some activities or play could be chess, hiking, basketball, a joint activity you can do with your boy. Many times this would also be an opportunity to make a brief statement or ask a brief question, and then simply pay attention.
* Avoid teasing and shaming.
* Make brief statements and wait; do not lecture.
* Share your own experiences (if relevant). It lets your boy know he is not alone
with issues.
* Be quiet and really listen with complete attention.
* Convey how much you admire and care about and love the boy.
* Give boys regular, undivided attention and listening space.
* Don't prematurely push him to be "independent."
* Encourage the expression of a full and wide range of emotions.
* Let him know that real men do cry and speak.
* Express your love as openly as you might with a girl.
* When you see aggressive or angry behavior, look for the pain behind it It's a very good book!!! This book is really good for us to understand what goes in our boys' mind! They're full of feelings and this book help us how to listen to them. Not that good I have read about three quarters of this book and my biggest problem with it is that the testimonials by the boys seem really contrived, as if their words have been doctored up or forged. He has interviews with twelve year olds that flow so beautifully and articulately that it actually comes off as very inorganic and makes you wonder whether or not these kids' words have been doctored up. The vocabulary these kids use is often too sophisticated sounding for their age. Guys Will Talk it Out or Act it Out. HIGHLY Recommended! Real Boys' Voices is a powerful journey into the minds of guys who have been raised to `hold it in' `be a man' `don't show how you really feel' and this sad list has haunted growing boys well into their painful adult years.
Pollack offers EXCEPTIONAL guidance to show us all, parents, peers, teachers, colleagues, and society as a whole to change the paradigm and start to allow boys to be REAL HUMAN BEINGS.
MEN HAVE FEELINGS! One topic that is touched on is that guys are actually being manipulated, and molded to follow, rather than to BE who they authentically are. It is imperative that boys, teen age guys, and all men are honored and ACCEPTED for who they really are, and not what others want them to be. This book brings pivotal advice to anyone who is in the presence of a young man to honor that man, for who he is.
It is a well known fact in psychology that either a person is going to talk it out, or act it out.
We owe it to the guys in our society to allow them the freedom and acceptance of honoring their own truth, and allowing them to express it, even if we may not agree.
By giving guys unconditional love, acceptance, and support on all levels, they WILL grow into men who are whole and complete, and will thus have the capacity to express that in the outer world, which includes being able to be authentic in intimate relationships. If boys are taught to hide their real feelings, how can they EVER know how to be REAL?
This book plays a crucial role in our society for males of all ages. It gets to the heart of the matter, and that is being loved and accepted for who they are. Only then will they know HOW to express their authenticity in their outer life.
BUY THIS BOOK! Highly recommended from my heart, Barbara Rose, author of "Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE" and 'If God Was Like Man'
Editor of inspire! magazine
Testimonies to augment theories This is a jarring and eye-opening collection of voices often unheard in our culture. It is highly recommended that this book NOT be read until one has looked at his first REAL BOYS offering. The first work povides the theorectcal context within which these testimonies are most powerful. This is valuable reading not only for counselors and parents, but for pastors, teachers, and all who work with or care about boys and their lives. |  |
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