Why Him? Why Her?: Finding Real Love By Understanding Your Personality Type,   ISBN:9780805082920

Customer Rating: 

Helen Fisher's self-read audiobook version of "Why Him? Why Her?" is a decent audiobook for those interested in a somewhat unique perspective on why some personality types are bound to be ideal soul mates while others are headed for inevitable disaster.

The reading of the material is perfectly fine, with a well paced, well enunciated female voice reading through the entirety (unabridged) of the print version.

Those of you who enjoy insight into the dynamics of female-male romantic relationships and the latest 'theory of the month' for what makes a winning formula should find Fisher's anthropological bent insightful and well reasoned. Unfortunately its really nothing that you haven't heard before (ie - The 'CEO' type male should pair up nicely with an 'organizer' type female) but still, an enjoyable way to pass the time if you're looking to burn up some hours on a long drive.

Customer Rating: 

This really is a very readable book with a fascinating theory. In an easygoing way Helen Fisher writes about four broad personality types: the Explorer, Builder, Director and Negotiator. Each of those types is governed by a specific hormonal dominance in the brain. She also describes how certain types go very well together, while others are problematic. The book begins with a test so I started with identifying my own personality type. It is captivating to see how her information seems to "fit" with myself and people around me. I really enjoyed reading this book and thinking about the broader implications of this theory.

Customer Rating: 

People are different, We all know this. The trick is understanding the rough categories into which people are likely to fit (including ourselves). This according to Helen if driven by chemistry and resulting brain wiring. Why not, something causes the differences in people.

If her categories are correct (explorer, director, builder, negotiator) and they are at least close to reality, it explains why some people fit well together, others don't, some relationship bloom and others wither.

This work is worth your time though when she coached the reader (listener in my case) to be more tolerant of dissimilar types (as a life partner) it seemed inconsistent with the idea of selecting for a good match instead of trying to make a mismatch work (extreme simplification here).

Customer Rating: 

This is a very good and interesting book for the most part. Though
I have some disagreements over generalizations of the types in the book. Anyways I took the personality type test in the book
and here were my scores: Explorer 31, Builder 21, Director 30
and negotiator 23. So I am an Explorer/Director according to the
book which mostly fits me except I have the strong Loyalty and Morals
of the Builder as well. I'm defintely an Explorer and Director
though. And have some qualities of the Negotiator. But I have
some mass divergences from what the book describes in some realms.
I hold Conservative Political views and I do not hold permissive
Political, Relgious or Sexual views. Exactly the opposite
of the ways she describes the Explorer on P.54. But I like
to explore places and things and certainly want to explore a
woman when I get married. Nor do I drink, smoke or do drugs like
it says most explorers tend to do. I've had only 1 sip of alcohol
my entire life and tried one cigarrette when I was 10 or so (thought it was 7 but my sister who I tried them with pointed out that was the age when my parents divorced so it couldn't have been quite that early). And was smart enough never to do drugs ever unless you count
aspirin and Pepto Bismol. Perhaps if Helen Fisher is correct in her types then it is my logical Director side at 1 point difference
that keeps my explorer side in Check. After all my logic instructor
(professor) at Boise State University did call me Mr. Spock in class.
I actually got 110% in class through perfect test scores and extra
credit. He called me Mr. Spock because I solved something in a way
that no one else in class did. I found you could have something
and not itself. It was a long time ago so I can't remember exactly
how I solved the equation. I am however unconventional and non conformist though I have a strict standard of conduct.
On Page 64. I'm a man of honor, duty and loyalty despite builder being my lowest score. I also believe in proper moral conduct but I don't admire or follow social norms or customs. Then again with
groups I've been in the social norms and customs are drinking, partying, etc which I don't participate in.
On Page 66. How can the claim be made in this book that George
Washington had a respect for authority and loyalty? If True
then he would have respected the authority of the King of England and
been loyal to him since the King was the guy in charge at the time.
George Washington instead established his own Authority!
On Page 81 Helen Fisher talks about Colin Powell contributing to chaos in the middle east by supporting the invasion of Iraq but what about George Washington supporting Chaos in the United states of America by fighting against the King of England? America wouldn't have been in Chaos under the rule of the King of England. It would've been orderly and calm, just under a different ruler!
George Washington sounds more like an explorer to me to establish
a new kingdom not under the King of Englad. It certainly wasn't
respect for authority to disobey the King of England the ruler at
the time.
On Page 127. I must be a very different kind of explorer than the
ones in the book as I regard Sex as Sacred as God Commanded to be shared only by 2 individuals for eternity.
Page 129 Explorer/Director . I fit this definition to almost
the tee. Good thing since it's what my test says I am.
On Page 137 I find myself in high agreement with the negotiator type
listed though I'm not one according to the test.

Overall though the book was very interesting. I have some major
disagreements as shown about about what these types actually are
though.

Sincerely,
Jon Beckmon

Customer Rating: 

This is not so much a dating/relationship guide as it's a book about understanding why we do the things we do. As in, why we keep picking the same type of guy (or girl) that we do. Helen Fisher is such a great anthropologist and she really hit it with this one. It really opened my eyes to the whole thing and made me realize why I sometimes do the things I do. Read it for the cultural anthropology aspect as for the relationship one. Another I also liked that helped me: Lucky In Love, Lucky In Life: How To Be Wanted-Use the Law of Attraction to Date the Man You Most Desire and Live the Life You Deserve.