Summaries and Customer Reviews are supplied by Amazon.com
Summary:
We've all been there: We know we must confront a coworker, store clerk, or friend about some especially sticky situation--and we know the encounter will be uncomfortable. So we repeatedly mull it over until we can no longer put it off, and then finally stumble through the confrontation. Difficult Conversations, by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen, offers advice for handling these unpleasant exchanges in a manner that accomplishes their objective and diminishes the possibility that anyone will be needlessly hurt. The authors, associated with Harvard Law School and the Harvard Project on Negotiation, show how such dialogues actually comprise three separate components: the "what happened" conversation (verbalizing what we believe really was said and done), the "feelings" conversation (communicating and acknowledging each party's emotional impact), and the "identity" conversation (expressing the situation's underlying personal meaning). The explanations and suggested improvements are, admittedly, somewhat complicated. And they certainly don't guarantee positive results. But if you honestly are interested in elevating your communication skills, this book will walk you through both mistakes and remedies in a way that will boost your confidence when such unavoidable clashes arise. --Howard Rothman
Customer Reviews:
Average Customer Rating:
Do You Communicate? Read this.
Customer Rating:
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heedn is so practical and readable I purchased a copy for each person in a communication skills training program I provided recently.
Just because we speak, write, e-mail, or tweet, we think we've communicated effectively. But all we've done is catapult words into the stratosphere. According to Difficult Conversations, for every conversation there are actually three conversations going on for each person.
Unless all these conversations are brought out in the open, misunderstandings rule.
Difficult Conversations provides a template, a step-by-step system for approaching those tough conversations we all have - or avoid having.
Difficult Conversations urges the reader to go from delivering information during a conflict to taking a curious, learning stance. Instead of blaming and defending yourself, explore the other person's experience. Try to learn more about what went on and what's going on. Until you each understand the three conversations, you can't move forward.
You'll read Difficult Conversations more than once. Every page will be dog-eared and highlighted profusely. It may be an overstatement, but only slightly, to say you won't want to leave home without this power-packed volume.
Solid practical help for leaders
Customer Rating:
Everyone has to have difficult conversations and this book can help make them more effective and less painful. This research-based approach is entirely practical and useful. The techniques can be used in a variety of situations. Like all skills, it still requires practice to do it well, but this book is a good place to learn the methods.
Great Buy
Customer Rating:
Everyone should have this book in their personal library. Whether its difficult issues at the job, within friendships or relationships, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most will assist in your approach to resolving those critical issues in your life: great book.
audio needs better narration...
Customer Rating:
I have the audio version. While I like the message of the book, the audio cd needs work. The speakers are boring speakers and hard to keep interested in listening. There's like 2 male voices and 1-2 female voices. Keeps jumping around.
Where Have You Been All My Life?
Customer Rating:
I got this book from the library on the recommendation of a friend, but I'm now buying a copy to keep as a reference. This slim volume has completely changed my attitude toward difficult conversations--and as a shy, sensitive type most conversations are difficult for me--by revealing what is really going on beneath the surface: our investment in "being right," our denial of the impact of feelings, and most interestingly, the fact that what's often at stake is our own idea of ourselves as a "good" person. A few reviewers have criticized the book for going into too much detail, but I found it all extremely helpful. When you're trying to undo years and years of bad habits, defensiveness and misperceptions, it's essential to work through it step by step. I wish I'd read this book a long time ago, but I'm definitely going to discuss these topics with my kids and maybe save them a lot of difficulty in their lives. Highly recommended.